Communication is often difficult for Aspies.
Finding the right words-
Trying to articulate the exact feelings into words can be a difficult transaction. Often times trying to sort out the exact word from all the words and emotions can feel like trying to shove the ocean through a funnel.
Benign meaningless conversation is easy. But catch us off guard, hit us with a question out of the blue when we are lost in thought and it can create panic.
My mind races for the correct words to say sometimes. And if it requires an emotional reply, my logical brain jams everything together. The result can be that I get tongue tied. That is embarrassing at it makes communication even more difficult.
Easier to text-
For me, texting is easier because there is no pressure to quickly reply. How many times have I paused to consider my verbal reply, only to have that pause interpreted as anger or condemnation??
When I text I am allowed those few second to gather my words. I am allowed to proof read my replies. Ahh… Big sigh of relief.
Sensory issues make the phone a nightmare-
I’m overloaded already and the phone rings (making me jump) now someone on the other end is talking in my ear. It is loud! I have to hold the phone next to my face. Sensory overload. I hate the phone. I really hate it when I am overwhelmed!
As a side note, I notice my little Aspie hates the phone also. In person he will talk your ear off. On the phone you might get ‘hi, bye’. How many family member get their feelings hurt when little Aspie won’t talk on the phone…?
Getting out the big feelings is hard-
I had to tell my non Aspie child that a family member passed away. I dreaded that conversation all day. What do I say? How do I act? Damn then she started crying, now what do I say? I know that nothing I say will ease the pain. Stay calm I tell myself. Just give her one of my awkward hugs… I want to crawl under a rock!! I can’t fix this! Panic! What do I say?!?
As a result I come across as not caring, cold, non emotional.
For you non Aspies out there, please don’t think we are incapable of emotion. We feel intense emotion! So intense that the words can become so difficult that it is easier to clam up. Every time I hear ‘just use your words’ I want to scream back ‘JUST READ MY MIND’ I am sure that would be easier.